Insanity
by DarkTigerGirl
Summary: Edward Elric is mentally unstable. The only thing he has is his family. Even though he has hurt them on more then one occasion. What will happen when he gets a little too close to his brother Envy? Or better yet, will Pride allow him to. Ed x Envy
1. Entry 1

**A/N: **Out of sheer boredom, I, DarkTigerGirl, have decided to make a new fanfic. And I'm sticking to my usual pairing. WHY YOU ASK? Because I can! So ha!

**Warnings:** Delusions, arguments, strong language, and medication.

* * *

**Entry # 1 **

**Journal Entry # 1- June 14:** My therapist suggested that I start using a journal to, you know, keep my thoughts in. I think its kinda girly, not to mention stupid. But, she did say that it was also for mentoring my condition. So now I HAVE to write in the damn thing. So, I guess I have to write about how the day went. Not much to say. Envy was being his annoying self. My mom says it's just 'brotherly love'. Yeah, brotherly love my ass. Just because he's been in this house longer then I have, doesn't mean he's the fucking alpha male. Fucking bastard. Well seeing that it's already 7 o'clock, I have to get ready for dinner. Maybe I'll write more tomorrow.

* * *

Edward walked down the stairs, long golden bangs overshadowing his face somewhat. Once he had made it to the dining room, neither of his parents said anything. Then again, they never really said much to after they found out there son was mentally unstable. The only one who didn't change all that much was Envy. He was still his usual annoying self, but he had toned it down a little after getting a death threat from Edward, and then realizing that he just might actually go threw with it. Everyone was still silent as Edward pulled out his chair from the table and sat down. He scooted in a little, so that there wasn't too much of a gap between the table and him. He picked up his fork and began to mix some of his peas with his mashed potatoes. Trisha was the first one to break the silence. 

"So, how was your last day of school sweetie?"

The blonde looked up momentarily at his mother. She was pretty; long coffee brown hair and soft deep blue eyes.

"…Boring and uneventful."

"Did you have any…episodes?"

Edward shook his head. He hated when he was asked that question.

"That's good. What about you Envy? How was your day?"

Envy downed another piece of chicken before he spoke.

"Roy was being an asshole again, lunch sucked, and oh, everyone is leaving for the summer. This is going to be such a bitchen summer."

"Watch your mouth." There father commanded.

Hohenheim was somewhat of a stern man, who was the one that Edward mostly resembled. Edward didn't talk to his father much. Since he was the one that had suggested that they put him in therapy. Trisha, on the other hand, was afraid that they might actually make the problem worse.

"Maybe they left to get away from you." Edward mumbled.

"What was that you psychotic freak?"

"You heard me you fucking prick."

"Envy! Edward! Cut it out!" There mother pleaded.

"You should jack his ass up with more medication, maybe then he could learn a few goddamn manners!"

"At lest I know who the fuck my real parents are!"

"Oh but wait, isn't it true that their real son turned out to be a fucking lunatic!"

"Fucking bastard child!"

Envy pushed himself from the table and stormed off. Both Trisha and Hohenheim looked towards Edward, who gave them 'I'm not apologizing to that bastard' look. Edward let out aggravated sigh and left the table.

* * *

Edward went threw the medicine cabinet, looking for his medication. He pulled out six bottles, each of them for the same condition. He open then and pulled out one pill from five of them, and two from the last one. The blonde popped them in his mouth and swallowed hard. He placed the bottles back and closed the cabinet. It wasn't until Edward turned around that he found he was being watched. 

"What do you want?"

"I'm making sure you're taking all of your meds."

Envy walked over to his younger brother and opened the cabinet once again. Reaching in, he pulled out another bottle and waved it in his face.

"You missed one."

Edward snatched the bottle from Envy and opened it. He popped the last pill in his mouth and swallowed it. Envy sighed.

"Look, I know how much you hate taking these things, but they'll make you better."

"I've been taking these pills for three years, and I don't feel any 'better'."

Envy shrugged. Edward just walked pass him. He had already had his fair share of people telling him what was going to 'help him' or 'make him feel better'. He was getting rather fed up with it.

"Hay Ed, if 'he' comes back tonight, you can always come into my room, okay?"

The blonde didn't turn around, but he nodded.

* * *

That nigh was no different from the others. One of the side-effects of taking so many pills was insomnia. Edward had gotten use to it at this point, so he usually did something productive. But, tonight there was nothing to do. He just lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. While he was gazing up at the cracks that had started to form, something was telling him that he should sit up. Edward ignored this feeling until he couldn't stand it anymore, knowing full well that he would regret it. And he did. There, sitting on his bed was a blonde haired teen. His eyes goldenwere completely dead. They showed no emotion whatsoever. 

"Go away."

"**I just wanted to talk to you Edward."**

"I don't wanna talk to you."

"**I though we were friends?" **He said in a hurt voice.

Edward clapped his hands over his ears and closed his eyes.

"Shut up!"

"**But I wanna ask you something Edward."**

"I said go away! Leave me alone!"

Edward was about to have a break-down. He didn't want to listen to him. Edward had at one time and it nearly cost him everything.

"Just leave me alone."

"Ed?"

He opened his eyes to find that the teen was gone. Looking towards the doorway, he found Envy with a conceded look on his face.

"He came back didn't he?"

Edward nodded. Envy walked over and took Edward by the hand.

"Come on."

So, both of the brothers made there way back to the eldest room. Once there, Edward climbed into the sins bed; Envy followed soon after. They faced away from one another, so both of them would feel comfortable.

"Envy?"

"Wha?"

"Will Pride ever go away completely? Will I ever be sane?"

"…I don't know Ed. I really don't know."

* * *

**A/N: There you have it! Now, tell me if I should continue or not! **


	2. Entry 2

A/N: Thank you all for reviewing! There are some questions I've been asked like, "Where's Al?" and others. Don't worry, he's in here! Oh and for those of you who didn't get the last part of the story with Envy being 'nice' after he and Ed had a fight, I'll explain it in this chapter. One last thing! The pills Ed takes are small. That's why I said 'pills' instead of 'capsules'. Okay that's all for now!

**Warnings: **Hallucinations, language, and dreams

* * *

**Entry #2 **

* * *

**Journal Entry # 2- June 15: **Pride came back last night. I had to sleep with Envy, seeing that Pride doesn't like him. I'm not really sure why though. Envy may be a complete asshole most of the time, but he does care about me (sometimes). I have to go see my therapist today. Oh joy! She told me to bring along this stupid journal, so she can see how everything is going. Dr. Hawkeye isn't bad; she just annoys me a little. The worst part is she has to tell my parents EVERYTHING I've said during our sessions. The upside is she puts what I've said into her own words...which now that I think about it, that's also the downside to it. But whatever, I have to stop now or I'm going to be late.

* * *

"Edward honey, hurry or we're going to be late!" His mother called. 

Edward closed his journal, and placed it in the bag he was taking along with him. The blonde had to leave for therapy ever Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday. Originally he only had to go once a week, but ever since 'that incident' he had to go more often.

"EDWARD!" Envy called.

"I'M COMING DAMMIT!"

Seeing that his father was at work most of the time, and didn't come home until dinner time, his mother and or Envy would have to take him.

"**Aw, do you have to go Edward?"**

The blonde did his best to ignore Pride. He closed his eyes and tried to block him out. It was harder then it sounded. Pride was sitting next to him on his bed, with a wide smirk on his face.

"**Edward, I know you can hear me."**

Edward picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder. The blonde was starting to crack. He walked over to the door and was about to open it, but Pride said something that brought him to his knees.

"**We use to have so much fun when you were younger, remember? I know you remember Nina."**

* * *

"Envy, could you go upstairs and get your brother?" 

"Fine." He said with a sigh.

Envy made his way up the stairs, and stood in front of his brother's room. Once he had opened it, his eyes widened. Edward was on the floor, knees against his chest and his hands over his ears, shaking. Tears were streaming down his face and he kept repeating the same thing over and over again.

"E-Ed?"

"Make him stop. Make him stop! MAKE HIM STOP!"

Envy rushed over and wrapped his arms around him, stroking his hair softly.

"It's okay Ed. Snap out of it."

Slowly his tears started to subside, and his shaking also. He removed his hands from his ears, and slowly pushed himself from Envy's embrace. He hated remembering the incident that landed him in more therapy, along with the many pills he had to take. Envy knew this and loathed that fact that that bastard Pride would remind Edward of it. It was Pride's fault for the way his brother was now.

"You okay?"

Edward nodded.

"Come on, we need to go now."

Envy took Edward by the hand, and they both made their downstairs.

* * *

The car ride was the same every time. The same scenery, same buildings, and surprisingly enough, the same people. Edward just stared out the window blankly. He watched as everything whizzed by, as everything passed him by, him unable to control what he saw or how fast it was going, much like his own life. Edward never had a childhood. He could vaguely remember any 'happy moments' in his life. Envy was sitting in the backset with him, eyes glued to his brother. He noticed that Edward had not bothered to iron his cloths, or for the matter comb his hair. He looked a mess. 

"Ed."

"What?" His eyes never left the window.

"What did you do to your hair?"

"Nothing."

"I can see that."

Edward finally diverted his vision away from the window, and gave Envy a glair.

"Why do you care? I really don't give a damn about what people think of me at this point. Unlike you, I don't have any friends. Unlike you, I have to worry about if I'm going to snap and have another reason for me to go to even more therapy. So mind your own goddamn business, and don't worry about what I look like."

Envy let out a sigh. Trisha didn't like the bad mood that was floating around the car, so she decided to lighten it up a little.

"Well, maybe the three of us could go shopping for new clothes." She said in a chipper voice.

"No thanks." Edward said.

Before Trisha could respond, she stopped the car in front of a large building. She parked the car, and got out. Edward and Envy did the same. The three entered the building and headed straight for the elevator. Edward's therapist was on the fourth floor. The elevator ride was silent. The blonde zoomed out a little, but was brought back to his senses by the 'bing' of the elevator. They stepped out and walked to the third door on the right. Envy and Trisha had a seat, while Edward entered the room. The room was quite large. It was filled with many books, along with a few stuffed animal hear and there. In the corner was a large leather couch, with a little pillow on top of it. Next to the couch was a lamp with a very dim light, the bulb should have blown out long ago. Edward stepped forward, closing the door behind him. Once the door clicked, it grabbed the attention of the young women sitting behind a desk in the front of the room.

"Good evening Edward."

She had blonde hair, like Edward's. She had hers done up in a ponytail, that came down a little past her shoulders. She was wearing glasses that side down her nose ever so often. She stood up and walked over to Edward. She raised her hand and patted the blonde teen on his head.

"Have you been keeping a journal?"

Edward nodded and reached into his bag, pulling out the spiral notebook he had brought with him. She smiled and nodded.

"Alright then, you can take a seat in your unusual spot."

Edward handed her the notebook, and took a seat on the couch in the corner. He stretched himself out on the couch, and waited for the Dr. Hawkeye's to join him. He tilted his head back a little, and stared at the medical that Dr. Hawkeye had on the wall. A few seconds later she walked over and sat down in the chair across from the couch. She crossed her legs and adjusted her glasses. On her lap was a notepad, were she would take notes.

"So, it seems that Pride has returned from what I've red."

"Yeah." Edward reflected on what had happned last night.

"Did he persuade you to do anything?"

"He tried to."

"But you resisted."

Edward nodded.

"It's harder then the last time. I try to ignore him, but he just finds more reason for me to do things."

Hawkeye adjusted her glasses once more.

"I've also noticed that you talk about your brother in your journal. Is it a lot stress being the youngest?"

"Not really."

"Are you dating anyone right now?"

"No."

"Are you still a virgin?"

Edward looked away with a deep blush on his face.

"Y-yes."

She scribbled something on he pad and went back to Edward.

"Going back to your brother. Do you two argue often?"

"Once a day."

"When you two fight, do you ever feel like hurting him physically?"

Edward shook his head.

"No, nothing like that. He does piss me off though."

She scribbled more things on her pad. About an hour passed. Edward would answer the questions that Ms. Hawkeye asked him, sometimes she would ask him to elaborate on afew things.Soon enough it was time for Edward to leave. Hawkeye gave him back his journal and said her goodbyes. Edward walked out off the room and sighed.

"So, how'd it go sweet pea?"

The blonde looked away for a brief moment, sighing once again.

"Same as all the other times."

* * *

The ride home was just as silent as the ride to the therapist. Edward had fallen asleep, and he had his head pressed against Envy shoulder. The sin didn't mind though. 

"Mom."

"Yes honey."

"I know I've asked you this before, but when is Edward going to stop taking all that medication?"

Trisha paused a moment.

"Hopefully when he gets better."

Envy placed his head on top of his brothers. He wanted Edward to get better for one very good reason. He wanted him to be happy. Envy hadn't seen his brother with a genuine on his face for a very log time, about four year to be exact. For Envy, that was too long.

'_Ed.'_

* * *

_Edward looked around to find that he was in his room._ _He found that he was sitting on his bed, wearing nothing more then his dark blue boxers and black tank-top._

"_Wasn't I just in the car with mom and-"_

_He was cut off by the sound of the door opening. In walked Envy, with a look on his face that Edward didn't recognize. The sin walked over and took a seat next to him. _

"_Mom told me to tell you that dinner is ready."_

"_Okay...you can leave now."_

"_I know. I just wanted to…try something with you."_

_Edward cocked a brow._

"_What ever it is, make it fast."_

"_Close your eyes."_

"_What?"_

"_Just do it."_

_Edward let out a frustrated sight, and did what he was told. As soon as he did, something warm pressed against his lips. His eyes shot open to see Envy's lips pressed against his. He hesitated for moment, but then kissed him back. He wasn't sure why, but he was enjoying himself. Edward wrapped his arms around his brother's neck and pulled him closer. Envy took this time to push Edward down again his __mattress. _

"_Envy." He whispered as he parted._

* * *

"Envy" Edward mutter 

"Ed, wake up."

Envy shook his brother a couple of times, to try and wake him. Edward opened his eyes slowly, and looked up into those of Envy's. He quickly pushed himself away from the sin, and pressed himself against the car door.

"Are you okay Ed?"

"Y-yeah. W-where are we?"

"Home."

Envy cocked a brow at Edward and got out of the car. Edward took in a beep breath, and let it out little by little.

'_What the hell was that dream all about.'_

* * *

**A/N: That's all for chapter 2! **


	3. Entry 3

**A/N: **Hello all! Thanks for reviewing! Envy really is a nice guy (Smiles). And I know. I turned Pride into a bastard. But it's just what I do. I turn loved characters into hated ones. But it's only for this story! I'll make Pride cute once again in my other stories! Oh and just to let you know, that last chapter took place on Saturday. And one more thing! Pride is not a ghost.

**Warning: **Visitation from friends, jealousy, and royal assholes

* * *

**Entry #3

* * *

**

**Journal Entry #3 - June 16: **I really don't know how to say this, but I…I…had a dream about kissing…Envy. The thing is…I kissed him back. I never really questioned my sexuality. Never really asked myself if I was straight or gay. But I'm not going to start now. It was nothing more then a dream…right? I'm not going to look into it too much, but hell I might as will consider the fact that I just might be…gay. Envy is my brother nothing more, nothing less. But that dream is kinda making me feel funny. I feel like I need to be around Envy more, but I'm not sure if that because of the dream or just because I want to.

* * *

Edward closed his journal. He didn't realize it, but he was blushing. Seeing that is was Sunday, he and Envy had chores. Edward had to clean his room, along with the living room. Envy had to wash the dishes and also clean his room. Edward just stared up at the ceiling, not really thinking about anything. 

"**You shouldn't think about your brother in that way, Edward."**

"Leave me alone. I really don't want to deal with you today."

Pride sat on Edward's hip, glaring down at him.

"**I forbid you to ever look at Envy that way."**

"You're not the boss of me, so fuck off."

Pride smirked. Edward looked away, knowing full well what Pride was going to say. Pride was a manipulative son-of-a-bitch; Edward had to learn that the hard way.

"**Don't touch Envy, Edward."**

The smirked from Pride's face faded, and his looked turned into a dangerous stare. Edward had never seen that look before. It told him that Pride was serious. And that was never a good thing.

"Edward?"

Edward's attention was pulled away from Pride's gaze, and to the door. A knock came followed by the voice his mother.

"Honey, are you okay in there?"

Edward looked back to see that Pride was gone. He let out a sigh of relief.

"Yeah, I'm okay Mom." He called back.

"Alright. I'll just leave your laundry out here, okay?" With that she walked away.

Edward got out of bed and walked over to his door. Upon opening the door, the blonde found the clothes hamper fill with his now clean clothes. He bent down and picked it up, bringing it into his bedroom. He closed the door with his foot, and walked over to his bed. He dumped everything out and began to separate everything in to piles; school clothes, pajamas/boxers, and socks. Once done, He took each pile and placed it in his dresser. The first drawer was for socks, the second school clothes, and the last pajamas and boxers. He closed all of them and walked over to his door again. This time, he walked downstairsand got ready to clean the living room.

* * *

Envy lay on the couch, 'taking his time' with his chores. The sin was about to doze off, but something tickled his nose. He opened one eye to see Edward with a duster. 

"What are you doing?" Envy cocked a brow.

"Making sure that the lazy palm-tree does his chores."

Envy sat up and waved of his brother.

"I'm am! I'm just-"

"Being lazy." Edward cut him off.

The sin shrugged. He wasn't really lazy, he was just…easy-going. Edward just rolled his eye, and continued to dust around the couch area. As he did so, the door bell rang. Edward was about to answer it, but saw that Envy had already beaten him to it. The sin opened the door and smirked.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the royal asshole."

"Shut up Envy."

The person that pushed passed was none other then Roy Mustang. And he was, like Envy said, an asshole. Roy made his way to the couch and plopped down, not noticing that Edward was behind him.

"What the hell are you doing here? And get your feet off of the table!"

Roy was then hit in the head with a duster.

"Alright already! Damn, stop bitchen!"

Roy rubbed the sore spot on his head, and removed his feet from the small table in front of the couch. Envy walked in and took a seat next to the royal asshole.

"So tell me, what happened to the trip you were supposed to be taking?"

"My parent's left without me! I couldn't believe it!"

"I can." Edward muttered.

Roy looked over at the blonde and gave him an evil glare.

"Look chibi, no one asked you."

"Oh, did I piss you off? Fuck you Roy." Edward spat back.

"Okay you two, that's enough. Anyway, why are you even here?" Envy asked, trying to stop the fight that was certain to happen.

"…I wanted to fuck you."

Envy busted into a fit of laughter.

"What so funny?"

Envy laughed harder, and doubled-over, clenching his stomach.

"That's right; I completely forgot that Ed and I are the only two people that you haven't screwed at school." Envy said while wiping away a small tear that had made its way down his face.

At school Roy was known as a playboy. He was a senior, and had just about screwed everyone in the school; some people even say that he did some of the teachers as well. Envy wasn't exactly sure why they were friends, but it probable had to do with the fact that Envy had resisted Roy's charm for this long. After all, Envy was still a junior.

"And I want that to change! Let's get this over with. I'm hot; I'm horny, so come on Envy."

Seeing that Envy was laying on the couch, Roy reached over and pulled the sins leg, so that he was pinning him down.

"Not interested."

"It'll be fun." Roy said in a seductive voice.

While this was going on, Edward observed the entire situation. He hadn't noticed that his grip on the duster had increased. Once he saw Roy ghost his lips across those of his brothers, Edward completely broke the handle.

"GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY BROTHER!"

Edward rushed over and tackled Roy. The force of Ed ramming into Roy was so strong, that the couch flipped backwards; sending all three of the inhabitants crashing to the floor.

"What the hell was that all about?" Envy sat up rubbing his head.

He looked over to see Edward attempting to strangle Roy. The sin wrapped his arms around the blonde's waist, and pried him off of Roy.

"What's gotten into you?"

"He shouldn't be touching you like that Envy! He's nothing but a pervert!"

Edward tried to breakaway from his brother's grip, but Envy only tightened it. It wasn't until Envy lowered his head and whispered into his ear, that Edward's face completely lit up.

"Edward, please calm down. I wasn't going to do anything with him. I swear."

Envy spoke in a voice that was low, and sent shivers down Edward's spine.

'_Why am I acting like this? It's just Envy.'_

"Please Ed, calm down…for me at lest." Envy pleaded.

Edward closed his eyes and let out aggravated sigh, while trying to ignore the heat within his cheeks. Envy slowly let go of the blonde and sat back.

"Fine, but I still think he's a pervert." Edward mumbled.

"Fuck you Ed." Roy said

"That's something you'll never get to do."

* * *

That night, Edward tossed and turned in his bed, trying to get Envy off of his mind. Edward just said 'screw it' and turned over. 

'_God, please don't let me have another dream.'_

* * *

_Envy smirked down at Edward. The blonde's face was completely flushed. Just as he was about to kiss him, Edward turned away._

"_Envy, I can't do this anymore."_

_Envy cocked his head to the side. _

"_Why not?"_

_Edward's blush deepened. _

"_You're…my brother."_

"…_so?"_

_Envy licked the side Edward's neck. The blonde let out a moan. _

"_Envy s-stop."_

"_Ed, do you really give a damn about ethics right now?"_

_Edward closed his eyes and shook his head. He really didn't care, but this just felt so…different, not to say he didn't like it. The sin reached under Edward's shirt, and began to massage his right nipple. Edward let out another moan. Envy removed the blonde's boxers, and discarded then to the floor. _

"_Envy wait-"_

_Before Edward could finish his sentence, the hand that had massaged Edward's right nipple, had traveled down the blonde's torso, and had wrapped around his fully erect shaft. Edward gripped the blanket and let out a loud moan. _

'_God, I want him to do more.'_

* * *

Edward bolted up from his sleep and looked around. No Envy. He closed his eye, and found that the images from his dream were still fresh. 

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" He said out loud.

It was then he noticed that his boxers felt unusually tight. He lifted the blanket and found that his member was in full on salute.

"…shit."

He quickly jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. He pulled down his boxers, and began to relive himself. Edward let out a small moan as he finished. As the blonde pulled up his boxers, he sighed .Edward then walked over to the sink, turned on the water, and washed away the sticky substance. Upon looking up at the mirror, Edward noticed that Pride was standing behind him.

"What?" Edward spat.

"**He'll only hurt you in the end."**

"Leave me the fuck alone Pride!"

"**You're going to be mine again Edward, you'll see." **

Edward shut his eyes, and opened then slowly. Pride was gone.

'_I will never be used by him again.'_

Edward wrapped his arms around himself, and fell to his knees.

'_Never.'_

* * *

**A/N: Another chapter down! Please review! **


	4. Entry 4

**A/N: **Hello all! Thanks for reviewing! Okay so, one of the reviewer said that they didn't know which Pride I was talking about; and that completely fine! But I'm talking about Pride!Ed. Which bring me to my next point, someone asked what Pride was, and I'm going to tell you. Pride is nothing more them a product of Edward's insanity. Oh and one more thing…I liked the little comment about fanart bunnies hehe. That would be really cool if someone did that! But that's all!

**Warnings: **Therapy, confessions, language, and hypnosis

* * *

**Entry #4

* * *

**

**Journal Entry #4 – June 16: **I had that dream again, but this time it was worse. This time, Envy actually…'touched' me. But, I told myself that I wanted…more. I mean in my dream! Why is this happening now? Why Envy? Of ALL people, why Envy? This could explain why I attacked Roy yesterday. I did really hurt him, I just tackled him. I didn't like the way he was touching Envy! Roy is a fucking pervert, he shouldn't be touching anyone! Why the hell an I getting so upset? This is so frustrating! I feel like pulling out my hair, which I won't do, because it took my ass years to grow it! GOD DAMMIT! NOW I'M JUST GOING ON A TANGENT! I really need to get my priorities straight.

* * *

Edward let out a yell, as he threw his journal against the wall. He didn't like feeling like this. His entire life was spiraling out of control, and there was nothing he could do about it. Edward swung his legs over the side of the bed, and walked over to his dresser. Seeing that he had to leave in about an hour, Edward decided to take a shower. He just felt so filthy; it probable had something to do last night. He opened the second drawer, and pulled out a pair of blue jeans, along with a long-sleeved, dark blue shirt. Closing it, he kneeled down and opened the last drawer, and pulled out a fresh pair of boxers. Edward was about the place the clothing on his bed, but someone knocked on his door. 

'_Please don't be Envy.' _Edward held his breath, as he waited for a voice to come.

"Sweetie, are you okay in there? I heard something hit the wall."

The blonde let out a sigh; it was his mother.

"I'm okay, I just got a little angry that's all." He called back.

"Oh. Well we have to leave in an hour, so would you mind waking your brother up?" She asked.

Edward became silent. He really had no intention of going into Envy's room, but his mother asked him, so he had to do it.

"S-sure. I-I'll do it's after my shower."

Trisha noticed the slight stuttered in Edward's speech, but chose to ignore it.

"That's fine."

Edward let out another sigh, as his mother left. This was not going to be a good week for him, not at all. Edward opened the door, and stepped out; bringing the clothes he was going to wear with him. He walked into the bathroom, and closed the door. Edward began to pull of his pajamas, starting with his shirt. He pulled it off, and discarded it to the floor. Next was his boxers; he pulled then down and tossed them to the side. The blonde then removed his hair tie, letting his golden locks go free.

"**You look good, for someone so scrawny, Edward."**

"I'm not fucking scrawny, Pride!" Edward shouted back.

Feeling a little self-conscious, Edward looked at himself in the mirror. He did look a little pale, but by no means, did he look scrawny.

"Envy looks better then me." He said softly.

Edward quickly clapped his hands over his mouth. Where did that come from?

'_I DO NOT like Envy in that way!'_

"Pride, go away!"

"**Fine, but I'll be back."**

* * *

Edward tilted his head up, and let the jet stream hit his face. The heat felt good against his face. He slowly ran his hands down his body. He really wounded if anybody had ever seen him as attractive. Edward didn't think he looked drop-dead-gorgeous, he mostly thought he looked okay. 

'_Envy could never see in 'that' way.'_

While pondering his thoughts, one of Edward's hands made it way down to his groin. Then, Edward made the mistake of visualizing Envy lying on his bed, naked. Edward couldn't take it anymore, he needed relief.

'_God, I shouldn't be doing this.'_

"**Then you should stop, Edward"**

"I t-thought I told you to l-leave?"

"**And I said that I would be back."**

Edward let out a moan.

"G-get out."

"**Aww, is someone about to come?" **Pride said in a child like tone.

"S-shut-."

Edward's breath hitched, as he came into his hand. He pressed his forehead against the tiled wall, trying to catch his breath. Pride stepped forward and sneered, crossing his arms.

"**You disgust me, Edward." **

"Fuck o-of."

* * *

Once Edward had finally completed his shower, he got dressed. The blond didn't feel any cleaner though, actually he felt worse. He shouldn't have thought about Envy, while jerking off. Walking out of the bathroom, he made his way to Envy's room. Edward knocked at first, but not getting and answer, he walked in. The sins room was messy. Clothes were scattered everywhere on the floor. Edward maneuvered his way to Envy's bed; he only slipped once on a dirty shirt. Envy was curled up underneath his blanket, tightly holding it. 

"Envy, wake up." Edward said in a low tone.

The sin just groaned, and turned over facing way from Edward. The blonde reached over, and began to yank the blanket away from Envy.

"Come on Envy, wake up!" He said louder.

Edward gave one last pull, and successfully pulled the blanket away from Envy. Once he did, he soon regretted it. Edward had forgotten that Envy sometimes had the tendency to sleep shirtless, which he was currently. Edward couldn't pry his eyes away from the sins naked torso. Envy, still asleep, tried to feel around for his blanket. Once he came in contact with something, that something being Edward's shirt, he yanked him forward. Edward couldn't stop the blush from creeping across his face, as Envy held him close. He had to do something, and fast, if he wanted to get out of this without a nosebleed.

"E-Envy, wake up dammit!" He practically screamed.

Envy groaned again, as he cracked his eyes open.

"Uh…Ed…what are you doing here?" Envy asked, still half asleep.

"I was trying to wake your lazy ass up! Now let me go!"

Envy released Edward, letting the blonde quickly remove himself from the sins bed.

"We're leaving in an half an hour." Edward said.

The blonde looked away, as Envy stretched.

"Okay, but are you sure you can go today? You look kinda sick."

Edward gave him a confused look.

"What are you talking about?"

"You're completely red, and you're sweating." Envy commented.

Edward didn't say anything; he just headed for the door. One, he didn't want to look at Envy anymore, for a nosebleed was starting to make its presence known, and two, he didn't want anymore dirty images in his head.

"Hay Ed, you can tell me anything, especially if something's bothering you." Envy said with a smile

Edward just nodded as he left the room. He couldn't very well tell Envy that he was fantasizing about him, hell, he never would.

'_I really, really hate my life.'_

* * *

"Is something the matter Sweetie?" 

Edward hesitated to open the door to his therapist. His hands were shaking; he really didn't want to do this. He swallowed hard, and opened the door. He walked in, and closed the door behind him. Hawkeye was already waiting for him. She was sitting in her usually spot, with her legs crossed. Edward let out a sight, and walked over to her.

"Um, before was start, could I ask you something?" Edward said in almost a whisper.

"Sure, go ahead."

"Can…can you not tell my parents about what I say here?"

"Is there some reason why?" she asked.

Edward blushed, and handed her his journal. She opened it, and read the two current entries. Once she was done reading, she closed the journal, and cleared her throat

"Please have a seat." She said calmly.

Edward took a seat on the couch.

"I'm going to try something new with you. I didn't want to at first, seeing that I might run the risk of awaking Pride, but now would be a good time to use it."

Edward really did understand what she was saying, but he went along with it. Hawkeyes instructed him to close his eyes, and relax against the couch cushion. She was going to hypnotize him.

"Okay Edward, you are now going into a deep trance. Once I clap my hands three times, you will come out of the trance, understood?"

"…yes." He responded quietly.

"Let's begin. What do you think about Envy?"

"…I like him….I dream about him…I want him."

"How so?" She asked.

"…I want him to…do 'things' to me…I jerked off in the shower thinking about him today."

"How long have you…'felt' this way?"

"…Since yesterday." He responded.

"Edward, do you love Envy?"

Edward grew silent. Hawkeye noticed the look of pain in the blonde's face. He groaned, gripping his head.

"Edward, are you alright? Say something!"

"**Edward's not here right now, hehe."**

She was confused at first, but soon caught on. She adjusted he glasses, and cleared her throat.

"Am I talking to Pride then?"

"**Yes."**

"Why are you torturing Edward; it's not like he's ever done anything to you."

He chuckled.

"**I like seeing him suffer, but the prick has hasn't been listing to me! It's that bastards fault!"**

"You mean Envy?"

Pride growled at the mere mention of his name, he hated it.

"**Edward's body is mine, not his! Edward will be severely punished if he touches Envy, I'll make sure of it." **He said in an angered tone.

Hawkeye didn't want to take the conversation any further, so she clapped her hands, causing Edward to wake up. He shot up, and looked over at Hawkeye.

"W-what happened?"

She adjusted her classes once more. Edward lowered his head, and sighed.

"…he's the only one who cares about me."

"Your mother cares very much about you, Edward."

"She afraid of me; afraid of what I might become." He said, as a small tear trickled down his face.

"The only conclusion I can think of is this; you feel strongly about Envy, because he's the one that has ever gotten close to you, from what you've told me. Ever since 'that incident', your parents haven't treated you the same, except for Envy, understand?"

"Yeah, I like him, because he doesn't treat me like a fucking maniac. He treats me like a…" Edward was starting to get choked up.

"Like a brother." She finished for him.

"Yeah."

* * *

Envy leaned against the wall, waiting for Edward. Once he heard the door open, he stood up, and crossed his arms. 

"So, how'd it go? Mom went to go start the car."

Edward didn't say a word. He just walked over to him, and wrapped his arms around the sins waist. Envy gladly returned the embrace.

'_Nii-san, I love you.'_

* * *

**A/N: **That's all for chapter 4! MY GRAMMAR SUCKS! DON'T KILL ME! 


	5. Entry 5

**A/N: **Hello! Thanks for reviewing! Seeing that it was requested, I am going to make this chapter into Envy's POV! I don't do a lot of those. Edward will still have his journal entry, but after that it goes into Envy's perspective.

**Warning: **Brotherly love, language, and depression.

* * *

**Entry #5

* * *

**

**Journal Entry 5- June 17: **I really hate my life. Yesterday I was being irrational; I don't love Envy. I got the emotion confused with kindness, or something along those lines. Envy is my brother, and does care about me. I don't wanna be lonely, I don't wanna die lonely, but I know I will. No one could ever love someone like me; someone who could end up killing them. No matter what people say, I'll never get better.

* * *

**Envy's POV**

I finally wake up, and look over at the sleeping figure next to him. I'm still not sure why the hell I agreed to this, but what's done is done. I had come over last night, one thing led to another, and well, I got screwed quite literally. I sit up and stretch, showing off half of my naked body. Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I began to recover my clothes. In doing so, I felt an arm wrapped around my waist.

"Where ya headed?" he said in a husky voice.

"Home, now let go Roy. You've done enough."

Roy let go of me, and I continued to put on my clothes. Once that was done, Roy snaked his arm around me again, and pulled me against him.

"I didn't know that you were such an animal." He purred.

"Neither did I."

"It's amazing what a little alcohol can do." He said in a teasing tone.

I pull away from him, and got up. Stretching once more, I try to get my sore muscles to loosen up.

"Now all I have to do screw your brother."

"If you ever touch Ed, I'll kill you." I said in a low and dangerous tone.

He put his hands up in a defensive way. I scowled, and headed for the door. I still hated Roy, what we did doesn't change the way I feel about him. That was nothing but a fling, a stupid and non-meaningful fling. It was my first time, but it wasn't all that great. Yeah, I did get a little wild, but hay, wouldn't you if you were drunk?

* * *

I fumbled around in my pocket, and pulled out me house key. Once the door was open, my mother rushed over, and took me by the hand, leading me up the stairs. She looked very concerned about something, but I didn't need to ask what it was, I already knew. 

"Where have you been?"

"Just out." I said.

She shook her head, and led me up to Edward's room.

"I was looking for you! Edward's having another episode. He won't listen to me."

I opened the door, and saw Edward in the corner of the room. He was sitting on his knees, hunched over. From what I could tell, he was holding his torso. His head was pressed again the floor, and from the way he was shaking, I'd have to say that he was crying. I started to approach him slowly, making sure that I didn't startle him. As I got closer, I noticed that there were little blood stains on the rug. I kneeled down, and saw that Edward had cut his lower arms.

"Ed." I said softly.

He looked up at me, with a terrified look on his face. I could now see that there was a knife in his hand; dammit Ed, what happened?

"Ed, please put down the knife."

He dropped it, and latched onto my shirt. He buried his face into my chest, and sobbed. I hated seeing him like this. Even though we're not related by blood, I really care about him, but I feel like everything I do, has little effect on him.

"I hate this, I hate everything." He sobbed out.

"I know Ed."

I wrap my arms around him, and hug him back. I felt him tighten his grip.

"Ed, why did you cut yourself?" I asked

His words were muffled, but I could make them out. He said that, 'he wanted the pain to stop.' I held him closer.

"I do too Ed."

I sighed

"I really do."

I heard footsteps coming toward me, but I didn't bother to see who they belonged to.

"Envy, can I talk to you outside for a moment." She asked.

I nodded, and Edward let go of me. I stood up, and stepped out of Edward room. My mother didn't have a happy look on her face; I was more of a mix of, concern and slight disappointment.

"Where were you really last night?" She asked.

"I already told you, I was-"

"Envy, I can smell the alcohol on you." She cut me off.

"It's not what you think."

"Then what is it? Please, don't tell me that you got drunk last night."

I think for a moment. I really didn't like lying to my mother, but I just could tell her about what happened last night.

"I was out with some friends, and they got dunk, not me. I was out all last night, because one of the guys let me crash at his place."

I just couldn't break it to her that I was bi; I'm not sure how she would take it. But, she bought my story, and sighed.

"Just tell me if you're going to be out that late, so I won't have to worry."

I nod once again. She crossed her arms, and shook her head once again.

"Edward was looking for you last night. Seeing that you weren't there, he just climbed into your bed, and stayed there for the rest of the night."

Great, now I feel even worse about myself. Not only did I make mom worry, but Ed had to deal with Pride alone again. I'm such a terrible role-model.

* * *

After I had bandaged Edward up, I decided to go out for a little. My mother was still pretty unset about me being out all night, so she made me take Ed with me. I didn't really mind though. Edward was nice to have around, even if he does get a little too silent sometimes. 

"Envy."

I looked over, and see Edward wearing a long sleeve shirt, most likely to cover up the bandages.

"Where are we going?" He questioned.

I shrugged.

"I don't know; I just wanna get out of the house."

"But, you were out all night." He pointed out.

I just shrug again.

"…Where were you last night?"

I really didn't want to tell him that I was sleeping Roy, but then again, Edward was good at keeping secrets.

"I was with Roy." I answer truthfully.

I could see that he was getting pale; I think he might be getting sick. He took a step forward.

"What did you two do?"

"Well, Roy got me really hammered, and apparently we had sex."

Thing were silent for a moment, then I saw Edward place his hands over his ear. Like someone was….shit. I quickly get up, and rush over to him, grabbing him as he fell. Edward had closed his eye, as tears began to run down his cheeks.

"Shut up! It's not true Pride!" He yelled.

"Ed, don't listen to him!"

I embrace him tightly, once again. The next thing I knew, Edward went limp. I pick him up, and carry him over to my bed. Placing him down, I brush back loose strains of hair, which had fallen to his face. Why did it have to be him? Why must Edward go threw so much pain? I just wanna take all the pain away. I felt a small tear ran down my face.

"Honey, is he alright?"

My mom stepped in, and walked over to the two of us. I cleared my throat, so that I didn't sound horse. But it didn't work.

"I-I don't know."

I couldn't control myself any longer, and began to sob. Mom wrapped her arms around me, and I cried into her chest.

"I-I hate seeing him like this." I cried harder.

"I do too Honey." She said in a soft voice.

Edward was my little brother, and it was my right, no, it was my job, to make sure he never got hurt. And right now, I feel like I just got yelled at by the boss.

* * *

"Are you okay?" 

Edward had finally woken up. For some reason, he refused to look at me. And was he…blushing? Man, he must really be coming down with something.

"I'm sorry." I finally say.

"What for?"

I wrap my arm around his shoulder. I don't know why, but he tensed up.

"I wasn't being a good big brother, and I'm sorry." I say.

Edward looked up at me, FINALLY! I smile at him, and he just sighed.

"You're an idiot, you know that?"

I say nothing. I reach over, and yank his hair tie off. Edward gave me the 'what the hell!' look, and I give him the 'serves you right' look. Edward HATES having his hair down, even though it does look better. He says it's because it 'doesn't suit him'. But I think it's because, its makes him look like a girl. He got up, and headed for the door, but not before he growled at me.

"Oh come on Ed, it looks cute down!" I say in a teasing voice.

He just walked faster, as well as flip me off. Once out the door, he slammed it shut, causing one of the pictures to fall off my wall. I suppressed a laugh. I fall back on my bed, and sigh. I didn't have the guts to tell him, but last night I had a weird dream about him. Ed would probable strangle me to death, if I told him that I had kissed him in it. But, oh well.

* * *

**A/N: **That it for this chapter! Review please! 


	6. Entry 6

A/N: Thank you all SOOO much for reviewing! I did like the Envy's POV, and so did you! I'm still deciding if I should make Envy realize that he might 'love' Ed. You guy can help me out! I don't wanna rush the story too much. But yeah, in this chapter we finally meet Al!

**Warning: **Language, shonen-ai, and summer fun.

* * *

**Entry #6

* * *

**

**Journal Entry #6 - 19: **I didn't write yesterday; because I was too busy packing. Me and Envy are going to visit our Aunt Izumi. She live in the county-side, it's pretty nice down there. She also has two kids too. Al, the oldest, is twelve; and Wrath, the youngest, is eleven. I think Al is a little too nice, and Wrath is just down right annoying. How those two got to be brother, I'll never know. Then again, me and Envy are brother, but that's different. Envy is adopted, while I am my mom and dad's blood child. But, I have to put this stupid thing away now. One, I'm on the train, and Envy keeps giving me the 'I'm bored, so entertain me' look. And two, I'm getting sleepy.

* * *

Envy watched as Edward put his journal away. He and Ed had there very oven train compartment, all to themselves. But, Envy saw it as no fun. There were two couch like seat across from on another; one for each of the. There luggage was stored in the over head compartment; where Edward was now looking for his bag, so he could put away his journal. 

"Do you need some help?" Envy asked.

Edward didn't say anything; so Envy got up, and stood behind the blonde. He was trying to reach the bag furthers away. The sin took Edward's journal, and reached for the bag. As he did, the book pop open to a random page. Envy couldn't help, but take a quick look.

"Hay, are you writing about me?"

Edward panicked and took it away from Envy.

"Er, sort of; I just talk about how much of an ass you are." He thought quickly.

"Oh." He said in an unenthusiastic voice.

Envy walked back over, and stretched out on the seat. He had been on this train for at lest three hours, which was too long for Envy. The trip to their Aunts house was five hours long; he and Ed still had two more hours to go. The sin let out sigh, as he gazed out the window. Edward looked over to see, that Envy had fallen asleep; which was a good thing, because he now had a new problem to deal with. Pride. He was, once again, sitting on Edward's hip, looking down at him, smiling. Oh, how Edward hated that smile; that same damn smile that had deceived him into doing so many terrible things.

"**Hello there, Edward."**

"Go. Away. Now. Pride." He said, trying his best to whisper and sound intimidating.

The smile on Pride's face widened.

"**Oh Edward, you can be as mean as you want to now, but as soon you fall asleep, you're mine."**

Edward cocked a brow; this made the sins smirk grow. Pride got up, and walked over to Envy. He scowled, and turned to Ed.

"Leave him alone." He growled.

"**Don't worry, I will…for now anyway."**

"Haven't you done enough?"

Pride chuckled.

"**Was that directed at me? Oh Edward, I only did the talking, you did the dirty work." **He said, with a usual hint of joy.

Edward was about to give him a comeback, but he saw Envy move. His brother sat up, and took a long stretch. He looked over at Ed, and smiled. He didn't notice Pride, seeing that Ed was the only one that could see him. Pride was nothing more then a fabrication of Edward's insanity. I guess you could say, he was like an imaginary friend, that Edward had met a long time ago. An imaginary friend, who had his own thoughts and emotions.

"Are we there yet?" He asked, seeing that the scenery outside had changed.

"Almost." Edward said.

He looks back at Envy, and noticed that Pride was gone.

"You look a little tired. Why don't you take a nap and I'll wake you up, okay?" Envy smiled again.

Edward nodded, and stretched himself out on the seat. He slowly started to close his eyes, trying his best not to let what Pride said get to him. He was more tired then he had first thought; that mostly had to do with the pills, and the insomnia that had kicked in last night.

'_I'm…so sleepy.'_

* * *

_Edward felt something against his body. He didn't know what it was, but it felt soft and…warm. When he shifter, it shifted along with him. He was afraid to open his eye, for he was unsure about what he was going to see. Talking a deep breath, he opened one of his eyes, and looked up. Envy was looking down at him, smiling. Edward was about to say something, but Envy silenced him with his finger. The blonde blushed furiously. _

"_Don't say anything, he'll hear you." He said in a whisper._

_Edward didn't understand who Envy was talking about._

"_I won't let him hurt you."_

"_Who are you talking about?"_

"_**Me."**_

_Edward looked around, and then noticed that he wasn't in the train anymore. He was in and alleyway; it was cold and damp. But, it was who he saw standing at the instance of the ally, that scared him. It was Pride; his usual smile was gone, and replaced with that of a serious look. Edward saw that was holding a…scythe?_

"_What the hell do you want?" Ed shouted._

"**_I want…your body."_**

"_What the hell are you talking about?"_

_Pride took a step forward. Envy grabbed Edward's wrist, pushing the blonde behind him. Now Edward was really starting to get scared. _

"_You can't do this Pride." Envy said._

"_**And why not? I'm sick of being nothing more then an illusion. And in order to do that, I need a human body. Now Edward, seeing that you won't give me your body willingly, I'LL JUST HAVE TO TAKE IT!" **He yelled the last part._

_Pride lunged forward, trying to attack Ed. Envy started down the ally, trying to get Edward out of danger. Edward didn't dare look back, he was more concerned about why Pride was trying to kill him. But, could he? _

"_Envy, what the hell is going on? This is just a dream! He can't really kill me! " Edward screamed._

"_Ed, he's not literally trying to kill you, he's trying to kill your sub-conscience. If he does… you'll die and he'll take over." Envy said, while they were still running._

_Envy looked behind them, and stopped once he saw that Pride was gone. It was a good thing that Pride had stopped following him, seeing that they had come upon a dead-end. _

"_But he can only kill you in your dreams. If you wake up now, you'll be safe." Envy said, while smiling. _

_Ed nodded. _

"**_I won't allow you to leave!"_**

_Pride appeared out of nowhere, and lashed out, but Envy took the blow; a clean cut across the chest. He was bleeding badly, and Edward was scared stiff._

'_Envy…no.' _

"_Ed, wake up now!" He coughed out. _

_Edward clapped his hands over his ears, and fell to his knees. This was all a dream, but he knew what Envy had said was right; he could very well die here. _

'_I don't wanna die.'_

* * *

Ed jerked forward, screaming. Envy, who was terribly startled, rushed over, and wrapped his arms around his younger brother. Ed kept screaming. The sin held him tighter, while specking softly to him. 

"Ed, it's okay now, I'm here." He said in a soothing voice.

The blonde started to calm down a bit; his screaming had stopped, but his shaking had not. Envy, still not sure of what to do, tiled Ed's head up, and kissed him. The blonde closed his eyes for a slips second, but then snapped them open, once he had finally realized what he was doing. Edward quickly pulled himself away from Envy.

"Are you okay?" Envy asked.

The blonde nodded, still in a bit of shock.

"Sorry about kissing you, it's the only thing I could think of doing."

"Just…don't do it again." Ed finally said.

* * *

Once the train had finally come to a stop, Envy and Ed began to gather their things. Ed hadn't make eye contact with Envy, after the little 'incident' that had happened. Ed didn't want Envy to see the deep blush on his face, if he did, then Envy would ask questions. 

"Izumi is waiting for us. So, we better get going."

"…okay." Ed said.

The two of them walked out of the compartment, and out of the train. As soon as their feet hit the ground, they were both knocked back by someone.

"Envy!" came one voice

"Ed!" came the other.

The first voice belonged to Al, the blonde haired saint, as Envy would call him; and the other one belonged to Wrath, the dark-haired demon, guess who call's him that?

"Mom sent us to come get you!" Wrath practically screamed.

"Wrath…I'm right here, you don't have to SCREAM!"

" Oh sorry." He said with a slight laugh.

Both Wrath and Al got up, and helped the other two brothers.

"Mom's waiting in the car." Al said.

With that said, Wrath and Al took their bags, and started back to theirs mothers car. Wrath was having some difficulty with Envy's bag.

"What do you have in here?"

Envy smirked.

"Oh you know, bricks, a few weights, an anvil, you know, the works."

Wrath rolled his eyes.

"Haha, very funny."

Envy's smirk widened. He loved going down to his Aunt's house, it was just one of those places where you could be at peace. Ed needed this. He was under so much stress, and Envy thought that all he needed was a nice, relaxing vacation. But what Envy didn't know, was that Ed was about to begin an internal struggle, that would most likely break him.

* * *

A/N: That all for the chapter! Sorry for the wait! Oh and, my other story, Teach Me will be updated probable by next week. So don't worry! Hehe, I put a little foreshadowing in there. 


	7. Entry 7

A/N: Hello all! I'm back! I've decided to not make this story too long. Maybe two or three more chapters, but those who know me, know I can't just end with one story! That right! I'm thinking about making a sequel! Oh and there will be no yaoi in this story…except for in Edward's mind. You'll see why I do this hehe.

Warnings: Language, beach fun, and phone calls.

* * *

**Entry #7**

* * *

**Journal Entry #7-June 20: **That fucking bastard. Pride is trying to kill me, AND he tried to take over my body! There's no fucking way I'm letting him have it! Envy, he…he saved me. In my dream I mean. Do I really love Envy, or is it something else? It feels like love, but then again, I've never been in love. I looked the word up in the dictionary; the first definition I got was '_an intense feeling of tender affection and compassion' _the second one it found was _'a_ _passionate feeling of romantic desire and sexual attraction'_. I guess that sounds like what I'm feeling. But…but I just want Envy to hold me.

* * *

Closing his journal once again, Edward curled himself up underneath his blanket, and started to cry to himself. He didn't like being this confused. Was all he felt towards Envy, nothing but a sexual desire? If it was, Edward would most likely kill himself. I was wrong just thinking about Envy in'that' way, but thinking about him only for sex, that made Edward sick to his stomach. 

"**Does little Edward not feel good?" **Pride said, sitting next to the bundled that was Edward.

"Leave me the fuck alone, Pride." He spat.

Pride's smirk widened.

"**Oh, are you still sore about that dream?"**

The blonde ripped the blankets off of him, and looked Pride dead in the eye.

"Do I look like I am?" He hissed.

"**You looked like you were crying." **Pride said, tilting his head in curiosity

"You know, if I could, I would beat the hell out of you."

"**And it I could, I would kiss you." **He said winking.

Edward quickly backup, and gave Pride an evil glare. Pride merely did what he did best, smirk.

"Fuck you, Pride!"

"**What's the matter Ed?"**

Pride crawled forward, causing Ed to back himself up against the wall behind him. Why was he acting like this? Was Pride…HITTING ON HIM? This would have to be a first for Ed. Pride had always been cruel, non-caring, and manipulative. But here he was, inches away from Edward's face.

"**You're blushing, Ed."**

"N-no I'm not!"

"**What would you say if I were to kiss you?"**

He got closer, too close for Ed.

"**Would you kiss me back?" **He said in a seductive voice.

Edward closed his eyes tightly. His blush was getting heavier, yes, he was blushing. One he heard the door click, he opened his eyes. Envy walked in, and stared at Edward for a moment.

"Are you okay?"

Edward nodded quickly. Envy gave him the 'if you say so' shrug, and continued to walk over to his bed, He and Ed shard a room, making the blonde predicament worse. Their Aunts house wasn't very large, butit was big enough to house at lest six people.

"Izumi's taking us to the beach." He said, while looking for my swimming trunks.

Once Envy had found what he was looking for, he began to strip. First was his shirt, pulling it off, he flung it over his shoulder. For a slip second, he had forgotten that Edward was in the room with him, and started to pulled down his boxers. It wasn't until he heard the blonde clear his throat, that he stopped mid-way. Modesty was something Envy didn't have very much of, and what little he had, he used.

"Oh, sorry about that." He said.

He gathered his remaining clothes, and walked out of the room. All of the blood that was in Edward's face, had now rushed down to his lower regions. Envy's little strip-tease, did him no good; and right now, he needed relief. Jumping up, he ran over to the door, and locked it. Collapsing to his knees, he stuck his hands down his pants. He wrapped his hands around his length, and began to massage it. He let out a soft moan, but him touching just the, wasn't enough. So, using his free hand, he slipped it underneath his shirt, and squeezed his nipple. Moaning louder, he hunched over slightly; the pleasure overwhelming him.

'_God, I can't take much more of this.'_

Stroking himself harder, he completely arched his back, so that his forehead was pressed against the floor. It was then, that someone knocked on the door.

"Hay Ed, we're leaving in a little." Al said in a chipper voice.

"A-alright."

"Are you okay, Ed? You sound kinda horse."

The blonde on the floor moaned, before he answered.

"I'm fine, don't…don't worry."

Not completely satisfied, Al left. Ever since his cousins had arrived, he had noticed that Ed was behaving strangely. He knew that Ed wasn't really the talkative type, but there was something different about him. He knew about Edward's 'condition', so he didn't bother him too much.

'_Oh my god, Wrath was right! I really do worry too much.'_

Al shook a little. Seeing that Wrath was his little brother, he would never admit, well out loud anyways, that Wrath had been right about something. That was just something he couldn't do, as big brother and all. Shaking his head, Al continued back to the front of the house.

"Hay Nii-san, where are Envy and Ed?" Wrath asked.

"Envy's getting ready, and I'm not so sure about Ed."

Al got into the car, and sat in the front seat, next to his mother.

"…hay Al?"

"Yes?"

"…Ed is…crazy right?" Wrath asked.

Al shook his head.

"He's not crazy, he's mental unstable. There's a difference."

"…but the bother seem like the same thing to me."

"You see, crazy, is just being what it state, crazy; no self-control, no reason, no nothing. Being mental unstable, is having a slight mental-disorder, kinda like an emotional problem; he's not crazy, because he can maintain his problem with pills. Do you understand that?"

"I think so." He said while nodding.

* * *

Edward pressed his head against the floor, muffling the loud moan he let out. After a few secondsof recovery, Edward shook head in disapproval. This was the third time he had done this, and every time hr felt disgusted in the end. The blonde removed his hands from his pants, and wiped the sticky substance on his pants. Getting up, he reached for the door, and unlocked it. As soon as he did, Envy came busting threw the door. 

"Come on Ed! It's time for some fun in the…hay, how come you didn't change?"

"I don't feel like going."

"…OH HELL NO!"

Envy reached down and picked Ed up, slinging him over his shoulder. He and Ed had come down there to relax, and dammit, Envy was going to make sure of that! Of course Ed put up a fight, he was being carried! By Envy no less!

"Put me down you asshole!" He retorted.

"We're going to the beach weather you like it or not!" Envy spat back.

Edward struggled some more, but he gave up after a while. Envy continued to carry him out of the house, and plopped him into the car. Izumi threw the sin a confused glare.

"Please don't ask."

Nodding, they got into the car, and started off. Ed did what he usually did when he was in a car, stare out of the window. He was about to zone out, but Envy nudged him in the side.

"You should really speak to your relatives more."

"Why?" He said simply.

Envy sighed. His brother could be so bland sometimes. After a few minutes, the silence was really started to get to Al.

"So, Ed, are you-"

"I'm not dating, I'm not doing anything special at school, I don't have any friends to talk about, so would all of you stop pestering me." He cut him off.

"Ed, we're not trying to pester you. We just wanna, you know, talk to you." Al said smiling.

"Uge, why are you still talking?" He nearly shouted.

Felling hurt, Al sunk down in his seat, and wiped away a tear that was bound to roll down his face. Envy shook his head.

"Ed, you really need to apologize to Al."

"And why the hell are you still talking? You have no idea what the hell I went threw this afternoon!"

"Then why don't you tell me, instead of being a fucking angst child!" He yelled back.

Everyone in the car went silent.

'_Oh yes. Let tell my big brother that themere image of him stripping, caused me to have a hard-on. Oh, he'll just LOVE that!' _Ed thought sarcastically.

Edward just turned his attention back to the window. Envy placed his hand on his shoulder, sighing.

"Ed, look-"

SLAP!

"DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Envy was taken aback by the blonde slapping him. He placed his hand on his cheek, and gave him a evil look. Why the hell was he acting like this?

"God Ed, you didn't have to hit me!"

Ignoring him, Edward turned his attention back to the task at hand. After a while, he began to feel bad about what he had done. He really didn't mean to hit him, it just kind of happened.

'_I think I just messed up.'_

* * *

Edward watched as his relatives played in the water, and build sandcastles. He was sitting under the umbrella they had brought along, with his knees pressed against his chest. Don't get him wrong, he could swim. He just didn't want to 'interact' with anyone currently. He just wanted to be alone, but that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. That's right, Pride was sitting next to him. 

"**Well, at lest you wont get a tan…well, you wont get tanner."**

Ed was silent for a moment, then spoke.

"I've got a question for you."

"**For me? Oh joy." **He said titling his head.

"Why are you being so nice all of s sudden?"

Pride shrugged.

"**People can change, Edward."**

"But you're not real."

"**Yes…I know that."**

Edward looked over at the blonde, to see that Pride had placed his head on his shoulder. He couldn't very well feel it, but he did blush. What had gotten into him? He knew that Pride hated him, but if that was true, why was he still hanging around him? I you hate somebody to the point where you want to kill them, then fucking leave. But, Pride had been around with Ed for three years, three long and agonizing years.

"Would you stop doing stuff like that?"

"**Why? I know you like it."**

"No I don't" he said.

"**I bet you would if Envy did this."**

Edward's blush deepened. He looked back down at Pride, to see the serious look on his face. It was then, that Edward finally got it.

"You're…you're jealous…aren't you?"

Pride chuckled.

"Why the hell are you jealous of Envy?" He asked.

Pride shook his head.

"**I'm not jealous of Envy, I'm jealous of your feelings for Envy."**

Edward stared at him for a moment.

"THAT'S the reason you've been terrorizing me?" He screamed.

Edward got up, and walked over to the seaside. He hated his life, and Pride was the blame for it. He had been normal once, a very long time age. But now…now he just wished he could be held. Ed didn't care who it was, just that they were comforting.

"Hay."

Edward looked up, and long and behold, it was Envy. He crouched down, and smiled. Edward turned his head, and looked away. He was still too embarrassed about the incident in the car.

"Look, I'm sorry for yelling at you." He said in a soft voice.

"…do you hate me?"

"Of course not!" He said surprised.

"I could never hate you, and I could never bring myself to hurt you either."

Envy stood up, and extended his hand out to Edward; gesturing for him to take it. He did, and Envy pulled him up, a little too hard. The blonde slammed into Envy's chest, causing both of them to fall into the sand, Ed on top of Envy. Blushing, Edward sat up, which only made the situation look worse. Ed was now starddling Envy's hips, with the sin looking up at him. And wouldn't you know it, Al and Wrath just 'happen' to run by. Stopping, the both of them looked at the scene before them.

"Uh, what are you two doing?" Al said.

Edward bolted up, and started to run. He had never in his life, felt so embarrassed. Once he had stopped, he found himself back at Izumi's car. He pressed his forehead against the cool metal, and tried his best to catch his breath.

'_I can't take this anymore.'_

* * *

Once Edward was home, he instantly ran back to his room. Envy followed him, and found that he had bundled himself up in his blankets. He walked over, and took a seat next to him. 

"Ed, what's wrong?" He asked.

The blonde held onto the blanket tighter. Envy rubbed his back, causing him to shiver. He was about to say something else, but the sound of 'Rewrite' suddenly started playing. Envy reached into his pocket, and pulled out his phone. Seeing the name 'Roy' flash on the screen, he answered it.

"I'm kinda busy right now."

"Oh, sorry, I just needed to talk to you for a sec."

Envy noted the seriousness in Roy voice, and serious was something Roy wasn't.

"Are you alone?"

"No, why?"

"Well, could you just go somewhere were you can be alone?"

Pausing, Envy got up, and walked out of the room.

"Okay, now what do you have to say?"

"…we've been friends for a while right?"

"Three years, why?"

There was a pause on the other end of the line. For a second, Envy thought Roy had hung up.

"…I…I love you."

Now, Envy was the silent one.

"Roy…wait…is this you're idea of a joke?" He asked, with a slightly pissed tone.

"No, it's not."

"I…I don't know what to say."

Another pause.

"Say…that...you feel the same way I do."

"I…I…I love you too, Roy." He stuttered out.

"That's all I wanted to hear."

And with that, the phone clicked. Envy had a goofy expression on his face, a long with a blush. Envy shook his, trying to get his mind working. This was Roy he was talking about. The sin was going to make sure Roy truly meant what he said, once he had gotten back.

* * *

Edward stood at the door, heartbroken. He had heard ever word that Envy had said, and it was tearing him up inside. He slowly walked back to his bed, and began to cry. 

'_Why does everything turn out this way? WHY?'_

Edward cried harder. The one person he had loved was in love with another, and that made his heart heavy. He was a fool to think that Envy could feel anything for him, except for brotherly love. Gradually, the blonde started to drift off to sleep. He was so tired; especially since he had stayed up the night before, making sure Pride didn't do anything to him in his dreams.

'_Why? How could he…'_

* * *

"_**I told you he would hurt you."**_

_Edward collapsed to his knees, and slammed his fist against the ground. Pride had been right the whole time; Envy had hurt him, and in the worst way. _

"_**I know how to make you feel better."**_

_Kneeling down, Pride pressed his thumb and index finger against Ed's chin, and titled it up; so that Edward was looking at him. _

"_**You don't have to cry anymore, Ed."**_

_Pride leaned over, and pressed his lips against that of the other blonde's. Ed kissed him back, and wrapped his arms around his neck. _

'_**That's a good boy.' **He thought._

_Parting, Pride whispered into the other blonde's ear._

"_**I won't leave you Ed."**_

_Edward felt a hand trail down his chest, making there way down into his pants. Edward moaned as Pride grasped his shaft. Edward leaned forward, causing Pride to touch him more. As the blonde sped up, he pushed Ed on his back, and began to assault his neck. Edward bucked forward; the sad thing was, he was enjoying it. In rasp voice, the other blonde let out a loud moan as he came. Panting, Edward tried his best not to lose himself, but every second, it becomes increasingly harder._

"_**You want me now, don't you?"**_

_Ed looked away, and nodded. Smirking, Pride kissed him again. One of the blonde's hands began to undo Edward's pants. Once off, Pride removed his own clothes. Ed braced himself for what was sure to come, pain. And pain there was. Edward yelled, as Pride inserted himself into him. Once he was in, Pride pulled out part way, and slammed back in. The blonde grabbed onto Pride's shoulders, and pulled him closer to him._

"_Don't…don't do that, please." Ed pleaded._

_Pride smirked. Complying with Ed's wishes, uncharacteristically, the blonde slowly moved in and out of him. Ed didn't know what he was thinking anymore; he was officially drunken with ecstasy. He had never felt like this, and all he wanted was to feel it more. _

"_H-harder." He said in a horse voice._

_Pride, lifted the blonde's hips, allowing him better access. Edward moaned, and began to buck wildly. He wrapped his arms around Pride, and clawed at his back. _

"_**I like it rough."**_

_The blond slammed into Ed one last time, before he and the blonde came. Pride collapsed on top of Ed, and relished in the after glow._

"**_Envy doesn't love you, I do."  
_**

_Edward shook his head._

"**_I could make it so he never hurts you again, all you have to do…is give me your body."_**

"_I…I can't" He rasped out._

"_**You won't have to hurt anymore. All the pain would go away, forever."**_

_Pride leaned down, and placed kisses along Ed's neck._

"_**I know how much you want the pain to go away." **He said, now licking the blonde's ear._

"**_You don't have to feel anything anymore."_**

_Edward closed his eyes, thinking. He could finally be at peace, finally let go of everything._

"…_alright…you can have it." _

_Pride's smirk widened._

"_**Thank you, Edward."**_

* * *

Edward woke up, and smirked. 

'_It was almost too easy.'_

Reaching behind him, he removed his hair tie, and shook his head; letting his blonde locks go free. Running his fingers threw them; he enjoyed the silky feeling of his soft mane against his hand. Ed looked over at the door, as it opened.

"Oh, you're awake." Envy said as he walked in.

Ed's smirk widened, but he made sure Envy could see. Getting up, he walked over to Envy, and started a coughing fit. Envy istantly placed his hand on his forehead, checking for a fever.

"You don't feel warm." He said.

"I…I really don't feel so good." He lied.

Edward fell to his knees, but Envy managed to catch him. Seeing that he had fainted, Envy began to shaking him a couple of times; not getting a response, he began to panic.

"Ed? Wake up!"

"E-Envy."

The sin pulled him against his body, and sighed. Unknowingly to Envy, Edward had not fainted. He opened one eye, and smirked again. Also unknowingly to Envy, was that he was no longer holding Ed, he was holding Pride.

'_Now, let's put my little plan into motion.'_

_

* * *

_

A/N: That's all for this chapter! Meh, I've decided to make only two more chapters. But don't worry! They'll be exciting! Oh, and please read my other story Teach Me! I worked really hard on it!


	8. Entry 8

A/N: Hello! Thank you all for reviewing! And sorry for the long wait! DAMN TESTING AND EXAMS! Actually there HSA's…..BUT STILL! Many of you have asked why I am adding only two more chapters. It's because, I cannot think of anything else to do with this story. I have found out that I can do a lot more in the sequel I'm making. Mainly because the characters will be older, and I will be adding new characters that I haven't used yet. Oh, and there were some of you that were confused about the sex scene with Pride and Ed. It was all a dream; it didn't really happen in real life. Next, this chapter will be a little short. The last thing I have to say is that there will be no journal entry in this chapter, or the next one. That's all I can say, so here that second to last chapter for you.

Warnings: Impalement, blood, language, and sorrow

* * *

**Entry #8**

* * *

**Pride's POV**

I'm so close. So close to seeing that bastard's cold, bleeding, pale body lying on the ground. While I, standing above him, laugh like there is no tomorrow. Why must time torture me so? You might be thinking that I'm doing this for revenge for what Envy had done to Edward, you would be partially right. I have no intention of doing anything on the behalf of that weak little bitch. Everything I had done to him the other day, was nothing but lie. I always knew he was weak; I just needed to say the right thing, push the right buttons, and poof, you have an Edward that is completely broken.

But back to the point, I am doing this for seer enjoyment, and revenge. Why you ask? Because that bastard messed up my plan three years ago. I wanted to make Edward's life a living hell. I wanted to take everything he held dear to him, and let him watch as it buried right before him. I wanted to watch him suffer, like no other had suffered. I was so close, but then _he_ had to speak. His soothing words of comfort were like torture to me; I wanted him to stop, but he didn't. As the mouth went on, I had no choice but to make my presence unknown, leave if you will. Oh, but I would be back. And when did make my come back, I'd give that bastard the slowest death I could think up.

So, here I am now, waiting. I had been for three fucking days now. There were still too many people in the house, and if I did seek my revenge, they would surly stop me. I wanted no interruptions. As I lay in this rather comfortable bed, I pretend to have another coughing fit. As soon as I do, that bastard runs into the room. God, I don't have a single fucking clue as to why Edward had fallen for someone like him.

"Are you okay?" He asked in a worrisome voice.

I fake a smile, which is a lot harder them you think. Oh, how I wanted to spit in that pretty little face of his. But, I restrained myself.

"I'm…just a little dizzy."

"Well, Izumi, Wrath, and Al, are leaving. But, they'll back in a couple of hours." He said, while stroking my hair.

Yes, this bastard was going to die, by the hands of his own brother.

* * *

Waiting a half an hour, I wanted to make sure that there was no one to interfere. I get up out of bed, and left the room. My first stop was the kitchen; I needed something to play with. As I walk down the hall, I can clearly see that bastard asleep on the couch. Oh, what pleasant dreams he must be having. I'm going to enjoy turning them into nightmares. Scowling, I walk passed him, into the kitchen. Surveying my surrounding, I find what I'm looking for. Walking over to the kitchen counter, I find the knife stand. I pull out the first knife, too small. The second, still too small. I pull out the last one, yes, this one was just right. A large blade, with a nice jagged cut to it, but I needed to test it. 

I place the blade at my arm, and it instantly cut threw my skin. It felt nice. I raise my arm, and lick away the crimson substance from it, savoring the taste. God, I love the taste. Closing my eyes, I begin to extract more the liquid with a sucking motion. Some of it trickled down my arm, escaping my delight. I couldn't help but moan. Snapping myself out of my gratification, I remember why I was here. Wiping away the blood from mouth and arms, I walk out of the kitchen, knife in hand.

I walk over to the couch, and scowl again. I hate him, with every fiber of my being. I want him dead, but I will not give him the pleasure of a quick death. Oh no, I want to torture him, play with him, put him threw some of the best psychological pain I can give. So, I straddle his hips and look down at him, still scowling. I lean down, to get a better look at him. He looked more feminine them anything. Leaning down further, the bastard turns his head, so that his face was towards this side. Opening my mouth, I lick his neck. He squirms, making me smirk.

"What…" I begin to whisper in his ear.

"Does he see in you?"

He squirms some more.

"Ed…" He mumbles.

I couldn't help but chuckle. He starts to move around, finally noticing that there was a presence in near him; or on top of him. I'm still looking down, waiting for him to open his eyes. I'm about to torture him till he breaks.

"Nii-san." I say.

He snaps his eyes open, and gazes up ay me.

"Ed? What are you doing up? You need to rest."

I shake my head slightly. Leaning down, I brush my lips against his. Of course there a blush forming on his face, wouldn't you if you were in his situation?

"W-what are you doing? Ed-"

"You love me don't you…?" I cut him off.

He looked at me in silence, confusion written all over his face. Now it time to mess with his head.

"But you love someone else…you promised you wouldn't hurt me Nii-san."

"Ed, I didn't know-"

"Didn't know? Didn't know! After all he things I'm done to show my affection, you 'did know'? Am I that worthless to you?" I yell.

"No, you're not worthless at all-"

"Yes I am! You hate me! You hated me from the very first moment you laid eyes on me!" I increase the volume of my voice.

"I would never think that about you!-

"Stop lying!"

He suddenly reached up, and wrapped his arms around me. That fucking bastard was touching me! I had the right mind to push away, and stab him. But, I actually do have more self-control then you think.

"Ed, don't say such things, I do care about you!"

"…do you really?"

"Yes, I would do anything for you, Ed…"

"…would you die for me…?"

I lifted the blade and slammed it into that bastards shoulder. He let out a horrifying shriek, which sent pleasure filled shivers down my back. Just so I could hear him again, I thrust the blade deeper into him. He let out another.

"Envy, please make that sound again…" I start.

"I love it."

I could feel his nails start to dig themselves into my back; he was trying to fight off the pain. That is truly pathetic.

"E-Ed….w-why?" He asks while panting.

"You fucking simpleton, I can't believe that you still think that I'm that worthless piece of shit."

"W-what are say-"

"Thinking about it genius, why would that runt want to kill you? He has nothing against you….me on the other hand…"

I begin to twist the blade, causing it to scrape against his shoulder bone. The bastard was whimpering now. His panting increased as more blood flowed out of his wound. He was going to die in the arms of his beloved brother.

"S-stop….w-why do want to kill me so badly?"

"….I hate you."

I pull the knife out.

"I FUCKING HATE YOU!"

I slam it back into him, much deeper this time. He let out another one of those delicious screams. I could already tell that he was trying to fight off the expanding darkness that was sure to come. His grip on me was slowly starting to loosen.

"Kill me….kill me now. I k-know you're not Edward. Since you're not….the means…he's gone."

"….say my name."

"…Pride." He whispers.

"I can't hear you." I say, as I twist the blade again.

"PRIDE!" he screams.

Having pity on his, I pull the blade out, and push him away. He was already starting to pass out. The bastard had already lost too much blood.

"You know what, He really did love you."

I aim for his heart, and thrust forward. But I stop. I hold my head as a headache suddenly strikes me. I start to laugh.

"You can't stop me now, runt." I say to myself, or should I say…Edward.

So, he wasn't gone after all. Well, I have nothing to worry about, since Edward doesn't have a hold over me like I did him. That little headache was the best he could do. Before I could turn back and finish the job, I found that a foot had lunged itself at me. It hit me square in the stomach. As I hunch forward, gripping my abdomen, the bastard manages to get from under me, and scrambles away. He doesn't get far; he only made it to the other side of the room.

"Was that your best shot?" I chuckle.

Recovering quickly from my pain, I get up and stalk over to him. He was backed against a corner; there was no way he would escape. I kneel down in front of him, and grab a fist full of his head.

"Ed…wake up…" He says weakly.

"He can't hear you, now where was-"

"Ed…please…don't let him do this."

"I said-"

"Ed…I know you're in there…please…"

"Shut up!" I scream.

The headache from before had suddenly come back, but its stronger then before. I get to my feet, and hold both hands against my head. Edward was trying to regain control, but I refuse to give it to him!

'_There's nothing you can do, Edward.'_

'_Oh, but there is.'_

I let out a shriek as my headache increases tenfold. No, I won't let it end like this. Falling to my knees, I start to blackout. I was so close, but I guess the damage has already been done. Which mean my plan worked after all. Edward won't be seeing me anymore, but his life is about to hit rock-bottom.

* * *

**Normal POV**

Envy looked down upon the fallen blonde. He hadn't moved for a couple of minutes, but since he was breathing, Envy could say that he wasn't dead. The sin had lost too much blood, and so he was starting to drift off into a sleep, which he knew he would not wake up from. He tried his best to stay awake, but it was becoming increasingly harder. Just as he was about to close his eyes, he heard a voice. It was panic-stricken, and scared.

"Envy!"

He looked over to see that Edward was now awake. The blonde rushed over, and wrapped his arms around Envy. Edward began to cry, wanting so badly to make all of the sins pain to go away.

"Envy, I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you."

"It's….okay Ed. I'm just….so tired."

Edward's panic grew when Envy closed his eyes completely.

"Envy, please don't go! I need you!" He says while shaking the sin.

"So…tired."

Edward felt Envy go completely limp. The blonde began to bawl on the sins shoulder.

'_I love you so much Envy, you…you can't die…'_

* * *

A/N: THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER! There's still one more! It will be short, but there will be a sequel! 


	9. Entry 9

A/N: Hello everyone! Sorry for the delay! This is it! The last chapter! Like I said before, it's short. Now, enjoy

**Warnings: **Language, regret, and questioning of ones reason to live

* * *

**Entry # 9**_

* * *

_

_Damn…I was hoping I'd have more time in this world. I was looking forward to seeing Ed smile…just once. Ed…I want to see him again…Why must he suffer so greatly? If anyone should suffer, it should have been me. There is no forgiving me for what I have done to him. I've tortured him for so long. But I, too stupid and foolish, thought it nothing more then comfort. How could I have known that every touch, every soft spoken word of kindness, was slowly killing him inside. I never wanted to hurt him. All I wanted was to make all of his pain disappear; if not that, then to ease it. I didn't know he would turn out like this…I'm the cause of it all. I hate myself; there is no one else to blame. I should have died at birth; maybe then…yes…maybe then Ed could have had a chance at a normal life. I should have died a long time ago. Damn…I really wish…I'd never been born. _

_Ed…I don't deserver your forgiveness._

* * *

Envy didn't know whether to laugh or curse. He didn't need look around; he already knew where he was. He knew what the strange beeping noises were; he knew why it smelled like bleach, he even knew where the soft sobs where coming from. The only thing he didn't know was the time. That was something Envy didn't care for. He knew and didn't know all of this because he was alive. He had survived his brutal stabbing, but he wished to God he hadn't. The sin had yet to open his eyes, and didn't intend to. Don't get him wrong, he wanted to…just not yet. Envy wanted to make sure there was no one in the room; no one to give him loving hugs and replay that they 'loved him so much' or 'that he was lucky to be here'. He didn't want to feel or hear any of that. 

'_I should have died right then and there…'_

Once he had heard the soft weeping had started to disappear, he opened his eyes. Turning his head to the left, he focused in on the door a little ways beside him. There were people having a conversation about something. Envy recognized two of the voices; his mother and father. But there was a third voice, one he couldn't identify. The only thing he knew was that it belonged to a female.

"I don't know what their talking about either…" Came a voice.

Envy didn't bother to turn his head.

"You've been asleep for two days…incase you're wondering…"

The sin didn't say anything. He couldn't face him, not after everything he'd put the blonde threw. Envy placed his arm over his face and began to sob. No, he could never face Edward again. Fore he was the pain that plagued the blonde's body, mind, and soul.

"E-Envy? What's wrong? Are you in pain?" He asked.

"Yes…but there isn't a doctor in the world that can treat me…"

Edward hesitated at first, but then wrapped his arms around the sin and held him close. He didn't understand what the sin was talking about, but he did know that it was tearing him up inside. Envy slowly removed his arm from over his face and looked down at the blonde.

"Please…I don't like seeing you like this. You're…you're the only one who cares about me…"

"Ed, that's not-"

"Don't say it. I know what they say behind my back…I know what they truly think of me. I hate them…and they hate me back."

Envy felt the cold tears of pure sorrow fall against his skin. He was so young, so fragile. Edward couldn't handle this anymore. He was about to lose his mind; about to lose what sanity he had left. The blonde wanted nothing more then to spend the rest of his miserable life with Envy. Just to be with him, if not in a relationship, then as his younger brother. Edward was about to open his mouth to say something, but was cut of when someone harshly yanked him away from Envy..

"Don't you dare touch him!" Came the harsh tone of his father.

"Let me go…"

"Haven't you done enough? You nearly killed my son!" He yelled.

That struck a cord with Edward. He wasn't even considered his father's son anymore. He knew his father didn't love him, but he still recognized him as his son. But now…he was nothing more then a thing that no one cared about, no one…loved. As Hohenheim ranted on, what was left of the little blonde's heart broke in two.

"That's exactly why we're-"

"Shut the fuck up Hohenheim! You have no right to talk to him like that! You know nothing about your own son!"

Envy painfully sat up in bed, and gave his father an evil glare.

"Envy, you need to rest."

"No, I've rested enough. Now, let go of him"

"Envy-"

"I said let him go!" he yelled.

Hohenheim's grip on the blonde slowly started to loosen. He gave Envy one last look before he left the room. The sin waited until the closed before he collapsed back against the bed. Envy had used up all of his strength, and now all he wanted to do was sleep. Before he blacked out, Envy looked over at Edward and gave him the warmest smile he could muster up at the moment.

'_I…I want him to know that I…I'm sorry...'_

* * *

When Envy finally came to, he found that it was completely dark out. The pain in his shoulder had died down, but it was not completely gone. The sin groaned as he tried to sit up. Once he had gotten himself into a sitting position, he looked around. No Edward. That didn't settle well with the sin. He knew deep down that something had happened to him…something terrible. 

"Envy…" Came the voice of his mother.

Envy didn't dare look up at her.

"…where is he?"

She hesitated at first, but then spoke.

"Envy, first you have to understand what your father and I did, was for Edward's own good-"

"Where is he?" he said in a much harsher tone.

"He's…he's in…Central Metal Institution." she said softly.

Envy grew silent.

'_No'_

Edward didn't belong there…

'_No' _

Edward belonged with him…

'_No!'_

Edward…he would die in place like that…

'**_NO!_**_'_

Envy hunched over, and gripped onto his bed sheet as he began to sob. Was he the only one who really understood the blonde? Edward didn't need to be locked away from the world. All he needed was...was….

'…_me…'_

He looked over at his mother.

"…get out."

"Envy-"

"GET OUT!" He yelled.

Trisha quickly got up and headed towards the door. Once Envy heard the door click, he let out all of his grief, all of his hate in one thunderous scream.

* * *

_Why? Why? Why! He…he doesn't deserve any of this._ _I should be the one in his position. God, I would give anything to trade places with him. Let him live a peaceful life while I rot away; being forgotten day by day. No…I'll remember you Ed…I'll never let you go…never…_

_I won't let you rot away…_

_I love you too much for that to happen…_

* * *

A/N: That's it! This fanfic is over! Post your reviews! I'll have the sequel up as soon as I can! 


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